What to do when you are sexually harrassed...

Hey guys, Xavier here again...

Today's bullying post is going to be a very sensitive and serious subject: Sexual harassment. Intimidating another student due to his/her sexual orientation, whether perceived or real, is a form of bullying. It's also bullying when someone enters another student's personal space and violates them in a sexual way. What makes this even more complicated is that it's not just physical, it can be emotional or psychological as well. For example, a football player that constantly says provocative phrases to a cheerleader, can be sexual harassment, if those advances are not welcome. Another example of sexual intimidation can be found in the Acception: Bullying Solutions and Prevention Health Education Curriculum. Take a look below:

Alex’s family recently moved into a very conservative school district with little diversity. He is the only openly gay student in his school and feels like an outsider because of his sexual orientation. One day he is walking down the school hallway when a couple of bullies call him a “fag” and yell at him to “stop acting like a girl” as many of the students laugh. This harassment begins to happen more frequently, and Alex finds himself being singled out because of his sexual identity on a regular basis. How do you speak up to the bullies?

 
A couple of ways you can speak up to the bullies may be:

1. Confront the bullies and ask them, “Why are you doing this?” Try to find out why they are prejudiced against gays, and explain to them that bullying a student because you don’t understand or agree with his or her sexuality isn’t cool. 

2. Offer to walk down the school hall with Alex in between classes and get some of your friends
to join you. There is strength in numbers! If the bullies keep harassing Alex, tell them they are rude and to “Stop It!”  

Remember, there is strength in numbers, so don't try to confront bullies on your own, and don't be afraid to get the assistance of a teacher, an administrator, or another adult to help you!

For more information on Acception’s solution-based approach to bullying prevention in the classroom, visit www.Acception.info

Spreading Lise or False Rumors

Hey guys, Xavier here again...

It's the winter, and it's cold outside! Recently, I was attending our high school's basketball game on Friday night when I got a text message from a friend. It turns out, there was a rumor going around about two girls in our class. Well, before I tell you more, read about it below and let me know what you think. Is this is bullying?


During the Friday night basketball game, Aisha and Nicole walk into the gym- nasium holding hands. Neither of the girls are lesbians, just close friends who are affection- ate with each other. While they are walking in, Amy, who doesn’t like Aisha, sends a text message to one of her friend’s cell phone: “Aisha’s a lesbo...look, she’s holding hands with her girlfriend!” The text message is then forwarded to several dozen students in the stands, who laugh and point at both of them throughout the game. When Aisha finds out, she is so embarrassed that she and Nicole leave the game early. The following Monday morning, Aisha finds several sexually derogatory comments posted on her locker. 
  
If you said "yes" you are right. Spreading list or false rumors is another form of bullying, and it hurts. The fact that it was done repeatedly, over the course of a few days, is an indication that it crosses the line from teasing into bullying. Additionally, there is sexual harrassment and verbal bullying going on here too, because of the name-calling and targeting of the girls due to their perceived sexual orientation. 

For more information on Acception’s solution-based approach to bullying prevention in the classroom, visit www.Acception.info

Bullying through intimidation

Hey guys, Xavier here again...

It's a new year, but bullying is still a huge problem in my school. Yesterday, I heard about a student who was singled out because he is gay. Another form of bullying is intimidating or singling out an individual or group due to racial, ethnic, religious, sexual orientation, or other differences. 

To give you an example of what could happen when someone is bullied this way, let's take look in the Acception: Prevention and Solutions Health Education Curriculum.


Alex’s family recently moved into a very conservative school district with little diversity. He is the only openly gay student in his school and feels like an outsider because of his sexual orientation. One day he is walking down the school hallway when a couple of bullies call him a “fag” and yell at him to “stop acting like a girl” as many of the students laugh. This harassment begins to happen more frequently, and Alex finds himself being singled out because of his sexual identity on a regular basis. 

How would you speak up to these bullies? A couple of ways you can speak up to the bullies may be: 
 

1) Confront the bullies and ask them, “Why are you doing this?” Try to find out why they are prejudiced against gays, and explain to them that bullying a student because you don’t understand or agree with his or her sexuality isn’t cool. 

2) Offer to walk down the school hall with Alex in between classes and get some of your friendsto join you. There is strength in numbers! If the bullies keep harassing Alex, tell them they are rude and to “Stop It!"

Remember, there is strength in numbers! If you find yourself being harassed or singled out in this way, make sure to tell someone, such as a friend, a teacher, or your parents. No one should have to be bullied simply for who they are!

For more information on Acception’s solution-based approach to bullying prevention in the classroom, visit www.Acception.info

Bullying Doesn't Stop During the Holidays

Hey guys, December has been a very busy time for me with the holidays approaching and all, so I'm only going to write one blog this month. 

The issue I'm writing about is an important one, because everyone needs to feel love and accepted by family and friends, especially this time of the year. Unfortunately, "hurting people, hurt people" all the time, and bullying doesn't stop during the holidays. In fact, the holiday season can be an even more lonely time for those who experience social exclusion. 

During the time off of school, friends often get together to shop, see movies, go ice skating, and celebrate together. But when cliques exclude other classmates on purpose in the effort to hurt them, feeling left out can turn into bullying behaviors. Let's look at one example from the Acception: Bullying Prevention and Solutions Health Education Curriculum, to help us understand how social exclusion occurs in schools.

Lisa desperately wants to fit in with the popular cheerleading girls. However, she’s overweight and doesn’t dress very trendy. A few of the cheerleaders sarcastically encourage her to try out for the cheerleading squad, not intending to even consider her. Lisa reluctantly agrees, in the hopes of being accepted. After the tryouts, the cheerleading captains tell Lisa that she will be accepted on the squad only if she steals lunch money from the underclassman for the next month and gives it to the captains. Lisa feels very uncomfortable but is desperate to be accepted, so she agrees. After one month, the captains tell her she was stupid to believe they would allow a “fat thief” on their squad and all laugh at her in front of the entire cheerleading squad. 

Lisa was forced to do things in order to be accepted (a form of bullying), and in the end, was still excluded by the cheerleaders. Can you imagine how humiliated she must have felt? Whether you are a teacher, student, or administrator reading this, make an effort to reach out to someone this season and show them love. Remember, when we accept and appreciate the differences of others, we bring some much needed love into a hurting world. 

For more information on Acception’s solution-based approach to bullying prevention in the classroom, visit www.Acception.info

Getting the Cold Shoulder

  Hey guys, Xavier here again…

 

So far we have talked about physical bullying and verbal bullying and how damaging they can be. Now we are moving to another form of bullying, social exclusion and isolation.   

Everyone likes to have friends and wants to feel like they belong, but sometimes this create cliques. Cliques are made up of individuals who share similar interests and then exclude others that think, act, or look differently. This type of bullying can affect multiple groups; LGBT students, racial minority students, religious minority students, disabled students, overweight students, etc. 

According to an article by Dr. Rick Nauert on psychcentral.com many times kids who are being excluded or ignored can develop physical symptoms such as mood disorders (depression) which actually leave them feeling cold (it gives a whole new meaning to the saying “giving you the cold shoulder”). It is important to remember that we have the power in us to stop this. By just saying "hi" to someone or including them in a group activity, you can really help someone feel like they belong. 

If all else fails, remember the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

For more information on Acception’s solution-based approach to bullying prevention in the classroom, visit www.Acception.info

Take your power back!

Hey guys, Xavier here again…

Verbal abuse, as we learned in the last issue, is one of the most subtle yet destructive forms of bullying (predominately used by girls) because it leaves emotional wounds and scars for many years. However, if you are a victim of verbal bullying there are things you can do to overcome this. First and foremost please remember that the person who is bullying you is probably doing it because they are hurting (Hurting People Hurt People).

Our society is so addicted to physical beauty that young girls are constantly comparing themselves to unrealistic, unattainable images which often lead to low self-esteem (low self-worth is one of several different pathways that contribute to bullying). So when you understand where the bully is coming from you will be in a better position to take your power back.

According to the article How to deal with bullying, there are ten different ways you can do this:

·         Avoid the bully at all costs

·         Ignore the bully

·         Know that verbal bullies often have their friends join in the "fun"

·         Tell a teacher, trusted adult, or parent if the bullying is consistent

·         Remain civil, no matter what

·         Don't Listen to the rumors the bully says about you

·         Walk away if the bully is actually insulting you to your face, as this makes them look weak

·         Tell someone how you feel; if you don't have a close friend, talk to your school's guidance counselor

·         If the bullying continues, tell your principal to have a talk with him/her

·         After that and when you see him or her come, why not act nice as a start to them?

Remember, you don’t have to take all ten suggestions, just choose the ones that work for you and remember that the worst thing you can do is to keep everything bottled up inside!

For more information on Acception’s solution-based approach to bullying prevention in the classroom, visit www.Acception.info

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Names Will Never Hurt Me

Hey guys, Xavier here again…

In the past two blogs I’ve discussed physical bullying; what it is, how to identify it, and who it targets. This month I’m going to move on to a more subtle, but equally damaging form of bullying: Verbal Bullying. According to Bullying Statistics verbal bullying (also known as verbal abuse) is more common among girls because it gives them a way to dominate others by showing their superiority and power. In the Acception film, we are introduced to Tanya. Unfortunately, students in her school didn’t like that was she was a lesbian, and made her feel ashamed and inadequate, as if there were something wrong with her. But you would never know because she kept her feelings to herself. That’s the most devastating aspect about verbal bullying; you can’t always see how damaging the effects really are, because the pain is on the inside. The old nursery rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is one of the biggest lies that exist, because hurtful words can create lifetime scars that may actually lead to someone taking their own life! Remember, we have the power to stop bullying by standing up for someone who is getting put down when we see it happening. We can also show love to the bullies by helping them understand that putting others down to make themselves feel better doesn’t work.

For more information on Acception’s solution-based approach to bullying prevention in the classroom, visit www.Acception.info