Bullying Doesn't Stop During the Holidays

Hey guys, December has been a very busy time for me with the holidays approaching and all, so I'm only going to write one blog this month. 

The issue I'm writing about is an important one, because everyone needs to feel love and accepted by family and friends, especially this time of the year. Unfortunately, "hurting people, hurt people" all the time, and bullying doesn't stop during the holidays. In fact, the holiday season can be an even more lonely time for those who experience social exclusion. 

During the time off of school, friends often get together to shop, see movies, go ice skating, and celebrate together. But when cliques exclude other classmates on purpose in the effort to hurt them, feeling left out can turn into bullying behaviors. Let's look at one example from the Acception: Bullying Prevention and Solutions Health Education Curriculum, to help us understand how social exclusion occurs in schools.

Lisa desperately wants to fit in with the popular cheerleading girls. However, she’s overweight and doesn’t dress very trendy. A few of the cheerleaders sarcastically encourage her to try out for the cheerleading squad, not intending to even consider her. Lisa reluctantly agrees, in the hopes of being accepted. After the tryouts, the cheerleading captains tell Lisa that she will be accepted on the squad only if she steals lunch money from the underclassman for the next month and gives it to the captains. Lisa feels very uncomfortable but is desperate to be accepted, so she agrees. After one month, the captains tell her she was stupid to believe they would allow a “fat thief” on their squad and all laugh at her in front of the entire cheerleading squad. 

Lisa was forced to do things in order to be accepted (a form of bullying), and in the end, was still excluded by the cheerleaders. Can you imagine how humiliated she must have felt? Whether you are a teacher, student, or administrator reading this, make an effort to reach out to someone this season and show them love. Remember, when we accept and appreciate the differences of others, we bring some much needed love into a hurting world. 

For more information on Acception’s solution-based approach to bullying prevention in the classroom, visit www.Acception.info

Getting the Cold Shoulder

  Hey guys, Xavier here again…

 

So far we have talked about physical bullying and verbal bullying and how damaging they can be. Now we are moving to another form of bullying, social exclusion and isolation.   

Everyone likes to have friends and wants to feel like they belong, but sometimes this create cliques. Cliques are made up of individuals who share similar interests and then exclude others that think, act, or look differently. This type of bullying can affect multiple groups; LGBT students, racial minority students, religious minority students, disabled students, overweight students, etc. 

According to an article by Dr. Rick Nauert on psychcentral.com many times kids who are being excluded or ignored can develop physical symptoms such as mood disorders (depression) which actually leave them feeling cold (it gives a whole new meaning to the saying “giving you the cold shoulder”). It is important to remember that we have the power in us to stop this. By just saying "hi" to someone or including them in a group activity, you can really help someone feel like they belong. 

If all else fails, remember the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

For more information on Acception’s solution-based approach to bullying prevention in the classroom, visit www.Acception.info

Take your power back!

Hey guys, Xavier here again…

Verbal abuse, as we learned in the last issue, is one of the most subtle yet destructive forms of bullying (predominately used by girls) because it leaves emotional wounds and scars for many years. However, if you are a victim of verbal bullying there are things you can do to overcome this. First and foremost please remember that the person who is bullying you is probably doing it because they are hurting (Hurting People Hurt People).

Our society is so addicted to physical beauty that young girls are constantly comparing themselves to unrealistic, unattainable images which often lead to low self-esteem (low self-worth is one of several different pathways that contribute to bullying). So when you understand where the bully is coming from you will be in a better position to take your power back.

According to the article How to deal with bullying, there are ten different ways you can do this:

·         Avoid the bully at all costs

·         Ignore the bully

·         Know that verbal bullies often have their friends join in the "fun"

·         Tell a teacher, trusted adult, or parent if the bullying is consistent

·         Remain civil, no matter what

·         Don't Listen to the rumors the bully says about you

·         Walk away if the bully is actually insulting you to your face, as this makes them look weak

·         Tell someone how you feel; if you don't have a close friend, talk to your school's guidance counselor

·         If the bullying continues, tell your principal to have a talk with him/her

·         After that and when you see him or her come, why not act nice as a start to them?

Remember, you don’t have to take all ten suggestions, just choose the ones that work for you and remember that the worst thing you can do is to keep everything bottled up inside!

For more information on Acception’s solution-based approach to bullying prevention in the classroom, visit www.Acception.info

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Names Will Never Hurt Me

Hey guys, Xavier here again…

In the past two blogs I’ve discussed physical bullying; what it is, how to identify it, and who it targets. This month I’m going to move on to a more subtle, but equally damaging form of bullying: Verbal Bullying. According to Bullying Statistics verbal bullying (also known as verbal abuse) is more common among girls because it gives them a way to dominate others by showing their superiority and power. In the Acception film, we are introduced to Tanya. Unfortunately, students in her school didn’t like that was she was a lesbian, and made her feel ashamed and inadequate, as if there were something wrong with her. But you would never know because she kept her feelings to herself. That’s the most devastating aspect about verbal bullying; you can’t always see how damaging the effects really are, because the pain is on the inside. The old nursery rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is one of the biggest lies that exist, because hurtful words can create lifetime scars that may actually lead to someone taking their own life! Remember, we have the power to stop bullying by standing up for someone who is getting put down when we see it happening. We can also show love to the bullies by helping them understand that putting others down to make themselves feel better doesn’t work.

For more information on Acception’s solution-based approach to bullying prevention in the classroom, visit www.Acception.info

Be a hero, stop a bully! Be a hero, love a bully!

Hey guys, Xavier here again…

Last time I talked about what to look for when someone is being physically bullied and how this tends to be more common with guys than girls. 

Today I want to take a more in-depth look at what type of student a bully usually targets, and why this occurs. In order to do this, let’s take a look at Mike’s story from the Acception film. 

Mike is one of the older and bigger students in his school, which gives him an advantage when it comes to physical strength. Combine this with the fact that he comes from a badly functioning family and is being physically abused at home, and this explains perfectly why Mike is picking on others. It’s the concept of “hurting people, hurt people.”

When someone has done something negative to you, it can affect the way you see yourself, and if you don’t deal with it, a deep wound develops inside of you. You can either get help by talking about it with a friend, teacher, or counselor, or keep it hidden inside. In Mike’s case, he didn’t talk about it or get help from anyone, and ended up taking his frustration out on other students so that he could feel better about himself. 

By the end of Acception, Mike starts to figure out why he bullies others, and we see a change in him. I think if all the bullies out there were able to recognize what’s going on inside of them, this problem wouldn’t be so bad. 

By the way, there are things you can do to help: “Be a hero, stop a bully! Be a hero, love a bully!” Talk with your teacher or another trusted adult if you see something like this happening and maybe together, you can help a bully and stop a bully from hurting others, all at the same time!

For more information on Acception’s solution-based approach to bullying prevention in the classroom, visit www.Acception.info

Physical bullying hurts boys more than girls...

Hey guys, Xavier here again...

I've decided it would probably be a good idea to take a deeper look at each form of bullying so we are better prepared to deal with it when it happens at school. Today I'm going to talk about physical bullying. 

According to an article on Bullying Statistics, physical bullying can come in many different forms, including:

• Hitting
• Pushing
• Tripping
• Slapping
• Spitting
• Stealing or destroying possessions, including books, clothing, or lunch money

There are some common signs you can look for to determine whether one of your classmates is the victim of physical bullying. Some obvious ones include leaving school with bruises and cuts or having clothes or books damaged.

There are also some less obvious indicators that one of your friends might be in trouble, such as skipping certain classes or avoiding certain people. For example, in the film Acception, Thomas often left his previous class (before Phys Ed) early so he wouldn't have to change in front of the other guys. He was so embarrassed that his body didn't measure up to the football guys - I'm sure many of us can relate to that! You can watch his story of physical bullying on YouTube by clicking here.

One other thing we need to remember about physical bullying is that guys are more likely to be bullied in this way than girls. So if you see a classmate being shoved against a locker or tripped in the hallway, "Be a Hero and Stop a Bully"...you could save a life!

 For more information on Acception’s solution-based approach to bullying prevention in the classroom, visit www.Acception.info

Bullying takes many forms...

Hey guys, Xavier here again…

The new school year is a really exciting time to reunite with friends after the long summer break, but it can also be a time of anxiety for students who are bullied. But there is hope! In our hands, we have the power to prevent and stop bullying, and this starts with accepting and appreciating differences.

When we learn to embrace that we’re all different we can begin to understand that bullying often occurs because we’re just afraid of each other. Just like our many differences, bullying takes many forms. According to a recent article from Bullying Education about half of all students experience some kind of bullying. When I first read that number, I was really shocked, but then I realized that bullying occurs in many forms, and can include:

·      Physical bullying (such as fighting)

·      Verbal bullying (repeated name calling)

·      Bullying through social exclusion or isolating

·      Intimidating or singling out an individual or group due to race, ethnic, religious,        sexual orientation, or other differences

·      Spreading lies or false rumors

·      Sexual harassment and/or intimidation

·      Being threatened or forced to do things by students who bully

·      Cyber bullying (through cell phones or the internet)

·      Having possession or money damaged or taken from students who bully 

Let's get one thing straight: bullying is NOT a rite of passage that students must endure in order to become adults. It’s an epidemic in schools across the country and causes a great deal of distress for victims. The effects of bullying range from anxiety and depression, to thoughts of suicide and in some cases, can even lead some students to take their own lives. No one should have to worry about their own safety when they’re trying to learn. Join me and together let’s “Be a Hero” and put an end to bullying!

For more information on Acception’s solution-based approach to bullying prevention in the classroom, visit www.Acception.info

We are all free: Accept and appreciate differences

Hey guys, Xavier here again...

We wanted to update you on some of the information Mike and Michelle learned about Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender issues, or LGBT for short.

We found out that 8 in 10 LGBT persons have been verbally harassed at school! We also found out that even if others just think you are LGBT, or even if you hang out with someone who is LGBT, you may be teased. That's messed up ain't it?

We watched a video a guy who got bullied in a locker room just because he looked different than the other macho football guys. His body wasn't as buff as the others, so they burst into his bathroom stall and humiliated him by tearing his clothes, recording him naked on their cell phone, and then posting it on the internet! He was so devastated that he had to switch schools! Turns out, cyber bullying can be just as bad, if not worse, then physical bullying!

Mike and Michelle also watched a few videos of gays and lesbians who were bullied and really had a hart time coming to accept themselves for who they are. Two of them decided they were gay, and came out of the closet to their family and friends. Another girl had homosexual feelings, but she didn't really want to be gay. She was confused about her sexuality, and ended up getting support from her friends and family, and somehow managed to resolve her homosexual feelings and marry a guy.

Then, Mike, Michelle, and Nicole were all shocked when I told them about a cousin of mine who was once a lesbian, and was unhappy about her sexual feelings for women and went to therapy for a while to sort things out. She ended up getting married to a man, just like the girl in the video we saw. We're not sure how all this happened, because we thought people were born gay. So Mike and Michelle showed us a cartoon that pointed us to the American Psychological Association for more answers on homosexuality.

It turns out, some live a gay life, some seek another alternative. We are all free. Accept and appreciate differences.

~Xavier

Btw...if you want to find out more on what the American Psychological Association says about LGBT issues, see: http://www.apa.org/topics/sorientation.html

Bullying Solution: Be a Hero!

Many bullies were hurt first; that’s why they bully others.

Families, schools, and the culture too may influence bullying.

We learn by imitation: Monkey see, monkey do!

But, let’s face it—we’re all different too!

Remember the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Hurting people…hurt people. Healthy people…help people.

If you don’t understand someone, get to know them.

Accept and appreciate differences.

Be a hero! Stop a bully.

Be a hero! Love a bully.

Join us and Be a Hero, and save a life today!